literature

Zombie in this Canadians attic

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ThreeDaysGraceTard's avatar
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Literature Text

Okay, so me and this guy from Canada were talking about animes and it led to this:
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You: Hetalia?

Stranger: Nope

You: You should watch it, each episode is 5 minutes long.

You: It's about personified countries and stereotypes.

Stranger: Interesting

You: Yeah, though Canada doesn't show up much.

Stranger: Lol

You: And when he does he's 'invisible'

You: And then when he's noticed people mistake him for America because they look alike.

Stranger: Lol

You: And he gets beaten up by other countries alot because of that

Stranger: Oh americans

Stranger: How you make canada get beat up

You: Hm?

Stranger: Jk

Stranger: I dont know really

You: It's based during the World Wars so of course you know America pissed a bunch of people off then

You: And Cuba always smacks Canada because he thinks he's America >.>

Stranger: Poor canada

You: Mhmm and he always shouts Maple

You: xD

Stranger: Mmmmmm

Stranger: I only like it with pancakes and waffles

You: Yeah...wait I like it on my bacon too. Maple bacon is good.

Stranger: Oh ya

Stranger: Bbbbaaaaccccoooonnnnn

You: Bacon is delicious.

Stranger: It is

You: But I don't really like Turkey Bacon it tastes funny.

Stranger: Ya no

Stranger: Pig bacon

You: Yeah pig bacon is so freaking good.

Stranger: So what year were you born in?

You: ----, you?

Stranger: Same

You: Cool, when's your birthday? :P

Stranger: September -- you?

You: July 13th.

You: I feel old xD

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: I know younger people

You: Yeah?

You: I know I was being retarded. :P

Stranger: So

Stranger: Elder persom

You: Grrrr

Stranger: :)

You: I'll get you back for that. xD

Stranger: Lol

You: I'll switch your pig bacon for turkey bacon...yeah that's how I'll do it. >:D

Stranger: No

Stranger: Not that

Stranger: Not the bacon

You: Yes, yes tha bacon!

You: Mwahahahahahahaha!

Stranger: My dads a butcher, hell tell me if its tyrkey or pig

You: Nu uh, I'll make sure he's outside of the house when I switch it :P

Stranger: Suuuure

You: I'll do it, yeah?

Stranger: Yeah

You: Then lock the door. >:D

Stranger: You will

Stranger: You evil being

You: Yes! then I'll hide in your attic and wait.

Stranger: Howd you know i have an attic

Stranger: Its actually hidden

You: I know you have it because I'm hiding in it right now. :P

Stranger: Whats up there? Never seen it

You: There's a bunch of dead people up here. o.o

Stranger: Creepy

You: This half dead fat guy is trying to chew on my leg. Frankly, I'm scared.

Stranger: XD

You: I think he's like this part time zombie furry thing of doom, yeah?

Stranger: Maybe

Stranger: I always thought we just

Stranger: Kept christmas things in there

You: No, the half dead fat guy ate them all

You: He's got hooks in his face, it's creeping me out.

Stranger: :O

Stranger: Our decorations :(

You: He just threw up on this dead fat guy. Gross.

You: He said your decorations were delicious.

Stranger: Kill him

Stranger: Now

You: I can't there's nothing up here

You: I can kill him with the turkey bacon

Stranger: DO IT

Stranger: then i dont have to suffer :)

You: Okay, fine, fine.

You: -Throws the package at the half dead fat guy-

You: -He eats it- -_- great..now I'm screwed

Stranger: Well

Stranger: Good luck

Stranger: Up

Stranger: There

You: Man as soon as I get down there I'm gonna kick your ass! XD

Stranger: With the fat guy?

You: No, you! xD

You: I'm not going anywhere near him! Fuck that shit.

Stranger: Heh

You: Plus he can't walk. his legs are the dead part.

Stranger: Oh

You: But he can still use his arms...

You: You better get your ass up here. Quick. O_O

Stranger: Shame

Stranger: I have various weapons around the house

You: Then get up here with one of them! o-o

Stranger: Which?

Stranger: Pocket knife 1 of three pistols shotgun or hunting rifle?

You: Well, get a pistol just to be safe. I think he's like, a zombie. o-o

You: Which is freaking me out more. I hate zombies.

Stranger: So why not shotgun????

You: I don't know? O_o

Stranger: Bigger bang :D

You: Do it then. If I get turned into a zombie, I'll stumble down there and bite yo ass.

Stranger: Nah im good actually

You: e-e

Stranger: Have fun

You: -The fat zombie thing bursts through the attic and lands right on top of you-

You: Ooops.

Stranger: That would suck

You: You shouldn't be talking, he crushed you! xD

Stranger: Just

Stranger: Ew

You: Hm?

Stranger: Thats just gross

You: I'm sorry, but he was too fat.

Stranger: Need better ceiling support in this house

You: -Hangs down from the ceiling- Yup, I'll say....or not as many half dead fat guys in your attic.

You: That could help solve the problem, yeah?

Stranger: Yeah it would

You: Hmmm, now how about some of that turkey bacon? ;D

You: lol

Stranger: NNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

You: YESSSSSS!!

You: TURKEY BACON FOR YOUR SOUL!!

Stranger: nope

You: Yes, I went through all that trouble and gosh darn it you are gonna eat it and you will like it!

You: >:C

Stranger: Ugh

Stranger: Fiiiine

(Later in the convo, skipping over useless crap XD)

You: o.o

You: The fat guy's moving again..

Stranger: Kick him in the nuts

Stranger: Wait

You: He's beside you

Stranger: Legs gone

Stranger: No he isn't

You: Yes, he is. He landed on you. xD

Stranger: Nope

Stranger: I did

Stranger: Magic

You: You must be the Canadian version of Harry Potter! :o

You: Cool.

Stranger: No

Stranger: Look at my pic

Stranger: I look way better. Hmph

You: Well, that's true, but I was trying to compliment you silly :P

Stranger: I dont wanna be no wizard.

You: Oh no the fat man just bit your leg. :(

Stranger: Shame

You: You're gonna die now. >.>

Stranger: Ok

Stranger: X_x

You: Nooo

You: SHAAAAARRRROOOOONNNN!

Stranger: Whos dat?

You: I'm making fun of Ozzy Ozborne. xD

Stranger: Ooooooohhhh

You: But seriously, don't die.

You: Who would entertain me? D:

Stranger: Ummm

Stranger: Harry potter??

Stranger: Dead fat guy?

You: Noooooo

You: Dead fat guy ate Harry Potter :(

Stranger: Cool

Stranger: Im starting to like him

You: The fat guy? But he bit your leg!

Stranger: Immune :D

You: Lucky D:
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That was all because afterwards he got offline, but it was still fun. :P
This was a conversation I had with a Canadian guy on omegle.
It's a chat website, look it up, it's fun.
© 2011 - 2024 ThreeDaysGraceTard
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purplexninjaxdragon's avatar
Omegle has some interesting people, not gonna lie